I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Randomize
