he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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