So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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