Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
