it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize