also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
