WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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