I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
