As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
