i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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