ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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