I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I AM VODKA MAN
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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