i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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