I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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