so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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