Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
