i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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