If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
