I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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