At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
