Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
