She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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