dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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