I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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