She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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