She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
