dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
