All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
