Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
