i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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