Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
