Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
