Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize