I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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