lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
