if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
