Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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