Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
should my penis look like a turkey
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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