I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
