I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
