I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
