I'm really into asian looking animals
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
