Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
