I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Small penises have feelings too.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
