i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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