so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
