strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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