sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
