me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
