I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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