I cockslap morals
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
