I heard we made out
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
