I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
