i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Randomize