there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
