just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
