I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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