I want to walk on stilts...naked
I feel like abortions should bother me more
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
